A few more pieces....

Let me set the scene for you....it's late afternoon, the big kids haven't been home from school too long and the mad rush has begun. Feed four kiddos, collect soccer and football gear, oh and snacks and entertainment for the little girls so they have something to keep them occupied while they sit through yet another practice. The excitement of the big kids being home only sends the girls into a running frenzy so they begin counting laps around the kitchen and dining area. While this is going on Rock and I are trying to get something on the table to eat...maybe it's grilled cheese tonight, maybe waffles or maybe I've actually put a little effort into this fast meal and there's something in the crock pot. This is very much the typical night in our home and it was just at this perfect moment I gently suggested "I think we should adopt." Crickets chirping....okay not really because there's still the high volume from the monkeys but you can imagine the stunned response from Rocky. I don't recall his exact words but I think it might have been along the lines of "have you lost your mind?" Ummmmm maybe. But still I proceeded to spill my heart and how it had been aching for the orphan and how I was sure this is what God is calling us to. Still not much response....I see the hesitation, I sense he really does believe I've officially gone mad and he offers up all the excuses that I've already played a hundred times in my head...how can we pay for an adoption? Where will we put this child? Do we even have enough seats in our car? and then he says the words, the words I held onto for months, the sentiment that revealed his heart....."but I guess whatever we have to offer is much better than what they have now." I know there was so much more to the conversation that Fall evening but those were the words that mattered to me. Because all the other stuff....well, it's just that...it's stuff, material wants and expectations that in the big picture really don't matter. None of it can we take with us. We can work around the logistics of bedrooms and carseats, we can swallow our pride and ask for help, we can do this if we allow Him to be in control.

I think the best part of this journey so far is that Rocky didn't hop on board that night. He didn't concede and say "sure, sign us up." Of course at the time that's what I wanted but looking back I can say that one of the sweetest miracles of this journey so far has been watching how God has worked on Rocky's heart and on mine. That when we were at odds with this decision we were at least both willing to take it to the Lord. I think Rocky's feelings were so typical of most men. For our family he is the sole provider so the idea of adding to an already sizable crew is frightening. I don't think for a moment his hesitation was about not caring or not wanting to do something for the orphan. It was a whole new concept and a life-changing one that I dropped in his lap. It took some time, a lot of conversations and even more prayer but here we are moving forward and dreaming about our boy.

"God Himself issues the call, and He executes the plan. We're simply asked to acknowledge his call. The true test comes in living obediently within the call. Many are called but few submit to God's sovereignty when the results aren't what they expected."
The Strength of Mercy